Sunday, October 15, 2017

I think it's about time. Change.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Dead Rose

Let's keep this private,no parents involved please.

I guess a lot of you have been curious about my dating life recently? I mean what happened to me and N? And who was the new guy, G?

Well, let's be clear then, there was never anything wrong with me and N. It was just that I took him for granted. I was in a  very content state because I've been treated and surrounded by love in my entire 4 years. And then, came G.

We met through a friend. You can say it was perfect timing because last semester was a very depressing semester for me. I've had so much going on in my studies. In every way possible. It was a total shit show for me. You can say I was 'bagaikan telur di hujung tanduk'. So you get the point, I was super stressed last semester.

Anyways, back to G. He was definitely a great listener. He always has a very optimistic way of life. You would think that a guy like him has his life sorted out but I was privileged to know him personally. All his insecurities and ambitions everything.

It all started out with a simple and persuasive valentine invite. Went out on a date at this very cosy Italian cafe here in Blacksburg. I just got out from a shitty lab,and he was there anxious. Somehow seeing him,made me happy. He was all dressed up,and there was me,sweatshirt,jeans and a messy bun. And yet, he was so kind to say that I looked pretty. What a guy. Things got even better. He surprised me with a bouquet of roses and a customised card. Charmed.

Then,spring break came. I was and always is broke. So all I planned to do was stay at home in Blacksburg. You know,just Netflix and chill. But then,he insisted on a trip. A trip to New York. His favourite place. A place where he told me, a place the place where he feels he truly belongs. I declined the offer as hard as I could, but this guy I tell you is good at persuasion. A true James Dean.

As you can see in my Instagram,I gave New York a 2nd chance. And I never looked back. It was the best week of my life. I know I went to New York once, but at that time I hated it so much. However, this time New York felt like home. We stayed at the Upper West Side in this cute tiny apartment. He brought me to all this streetwear shops that were scattered across Brooklyn. He held my hand throughout the entire trip. It just made me felt safe. He led the way through the entire streets of Brooklyn. There was this day,where we took the wrong subway, and ended up in China Town. So, being asians,we decided to get food and boba. And coincidently, he met this huge ass Bulbasaur. It was a plushie. Mine you it was huge! It was 2/3 of my weight, I think? Trust me. We carried that lil creature across Brooklyn bridge. It was the best 20 minutes of my life. At that bridge, I realised how vulnerable one can be. Knowing him, I know he was a very strong confident guy. But at the moment, he was so brave to tell me,that he was afraid of heights. I remember how brave he was to conquer his fear. At this one part of the bridge, we just stood their and admire the beautiful scenery of Brooklyn. At that particular time, I felt happy for once. I felt genuinely happy. Everything felt so perfect. Somehow,this guy right here, made USA home.For me.
The picture he took.

Then,as time went on, everything went on perfectly. But I guess it was just infatuation in his part. I know I was stupid to actually believed that there is such thing as true love at this God damn age. But it's ok. It hurts. I know,but G,

if you're reading this,I just want to thank you. For teaching me to see life in a very different view. My entire life, I've always believed that the only way to have a perfect life is to follow the plans and goals that I and the people around me have set. However, you, taught me that life should be lived with passion and optimism. With that everything will eventually will revolve around you, not for you.

I know it makes no sense,but you were the best I've ever had. Take care and Peace.

Saturday, February 4, 2017